When I started blogging, I just wanted to share my journey as a Christian black woman.

All the content is literally something I’ve experienced. My goal was 40 blogs as a gift to myself. This year is my 40th year of life❤. This is my last blog.

The best story that mirrors my journey is John 4:1-42. I’m the Samaritan woman. Verse 11 is my past where I questioned Jesus’ intentions for loving me. Like me, this woman uses logic and reality with Jesus. In OUR context she was saying “Jews and Samaritans don’t mix, so what’s your deal dude?”

In MY context it was, “God is holy, I’m far from that. He will never use me. Probably hates me and will send me to Lucy’s 😈 crib when I die. So why bother having a relationship with Jesus”. I just never imagined a holy God being interested in a sinner like me. Also, the stuff I went through in life just seemed to validate this twisted narrative!

Fortunately for me, I kept talking to my Creator; even though I was conflicted about Him. God knows my heart and He spoke to me through His nature – Love. I responded. My perspective started to shift. He literally waited for me!

Verse 39 is my current and future state. Here I am “running” around telling people about this Jesus who loved a sinner like me❤

I joke about being God’s “problem child” cos I’m very strong willed with a “Moses temper”, yet God gave me a good heart that responds so well to LOVE. Everything I went through was not in vain. He was there with me, I just couldn’t see Him.

Just as He waited for the Samaritan woman, He is waiting for you. If none of this makes sense, please listen to Travis Greene “You waited”🎵.

All our encounters with Jesus will be different based on our gifts and callings. My gift is communication. My calling is to heal others through learning, serving and loving.

This blog was the beginning of my journey in fulfilling my calling. My aim is to die empty.

As I “pen down” on my 40th blog, I’m in awe of His Faithfulness, Mercy, Grace and Favour❤

A new chapter is beginning in my life and I’m sooooo excited! Thank you for going through this chapter with me. For actually taking the time to even read my blogs. For the encouragement. It was not easy, yet I went ahead and did it. Some asked, “Why though Elaine?”, cos when He put this desire in my heart I asked Him, “Lord, what should I write about? What should I tell them?”. The answer was clear, “Tell them I love them”.

He loves you. Always has. Always will. Just as you are. You were created by Him, in His image.

Stay blessed always 🌸

Reflecting on the story of Lazarus I now realise how much of it’s essence I missed. Please read the story in John 11.

My key question was “Lord, why let Lazarus, your friend, die if you knew you were going to raise him anyway?” This question in my life looks like this, “Lord why let me live if you knew my life would be so crazy?”

I find it interesting that what everyone called death, Jesus called “sleeping” (v11). How many times have you thought it’s over and dead only to realise it was just sleeping? How many times have you “boxed” His sovereignty thinking His ways were yours?

In verse 4 the burning question is answered. In our context today the scripture would say “Because He is God and He can..” Yep, all of that was so that His name could be glorified. If you know you strive to serve Him as best as you can yet face “death” too many times; He allowed it so His name could be glorified.

Basically it’s so that when you come out of it you can know beyond doubt that it was God. Our Creator will NOT share His glory (Isaiah 42:8). In the moments of your pain you might be tempted, like me, to say “Lord, I don’t deserve this” then God goes and throws Job 38-39 at you!

Go through the process trusting that He NEVER allows things into your life unless they will work out for your good; purely because you love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28).

I honestly don’t care who any person is, don’t put yourself in a position where God has to remind you of your humanity. He is God, not a god.

To this day there are only two people I fear in this world; my mother when she is angry. Her names are Tintswalo Grace. Tintswalo means Grace. I was birthed by double Grace. Even a crazy person doesn’t want to mess with double Grace. Second person is anyone who knows my date, time and cause of death and where my soul will go after that. I doubt I’ll EVER meet that person. Above these two people, I fear God.

Each time I go through stuff, I do my best not to stir His anger lest I be thrown with 77 questions like Job. It’s hard since I often feel God owes me an explanation😀

Dying to self is part of this Christian journey (Rom 8:12-13). Some events are random and some are Lucy’s 😈 strategic intentions. Either way, you will come out better and wiser as long as you stay in His presence.

Keep your faith. Continue praying. Then water that faith and prayer with praise and worship!

Be blessed always 🌸

For the past two days I have been receiving news that either shook me to my core or broke my spirit. I was honestly not ready for this level of brokenness in the human race.

While chatting to a friend today, who is going through a thorny season, I found myself referencing Hannah’s prayer. Her prayer was so earnest the prophet Samuel thought she was drunk. Check out 1 Samuel 1:13.

I told her this is now time to stop being cute about her prayers and to just pour everything out as messy as it is. Two hours later I realised why I had so much passion while talking to her. I’m fed up with Lucy 😈 and his rubbish!

Lucy 😈 has been using situations, things and people to frustrate God’s children. He has literally been roaming around looking for marriages, jobs, finances, relationships, mental health, livelihoods and lives to devour. He knows he can’t touch you, but he can touch what is linked to you and exhaust you through the drama around that thing.

God says we should come to Him with our weariness and heavy burdens so He can give us rest. I always say “rest is a weapon”. Go to that place where it’s just you and God and earnestly talk to Him. Not that cute “wanna look cool” talk with God. That earnest, heart wrenching prayer. Let your prayer reflect the depth of your anguished soul.

I preach this to myself also. There are some annoying things that I’m about to take to the throne of Grace. I’ve tried to be cute about them with zero success😔 I’m wearied but I’ll still worship Him. Even Lucy 😈 can’t compete with a wearied worshiper.

Let us go to our Father. Let us go to the One who knew these things would come to pass. Let us go to the One in whose image we are created – the great I AM.

May your answer be swifter than you expect. It is coming. Be blessed always 🌸

So today I was narrating a story to my sister about this long held fear I’ve had since my teens – dying alone while living in a granny flat with a bunch of cats.

I have nothing against people who have chosen that life, it’s just not for me. The unintended consequences of this fear was that I ended up staying in toxic relationships just so that I wouldn’t be that granny.

Then, through His love, God started showing me that He was enough. He showed me that I would never experience loneliness since His promise is to NEVER leave nor forsake me. Considering that He is sovereign and that He is not man that He should lie, I believe that promise.

People are great to be around but there are moments when you just want to be alone with your Creator. It’s the safest psychological, spiritual and emotional space I know. With Him I always walk away better than before I entered into His presence.

I no longer fear ending up alone because as long as I am with Him, I’ll NEVER be alone. Just as I am He always accepts me without condemnation. I don’t know any human who can do that ALL the time.

It is for this reason I’ll forever love the song “What a friend we have in Jesus”. I urge you to just read those lyrics and tell me if that is not what each of our souls longs for?

Be blessed always 🌸

I can’t begin to imagine what Paul was going through to produce 2 Corinthians 4:8-10. What I do know is that I can relate.

To this day I look at my life and just don’t understand how I’m still here. The attacks from Lucy’s 😈 corporation have been so real, yet here I am still standing. Father truly, what manner of love is this???

I look at myself and just see someone who is constantly falling short of His glory, disappointing Him and not doing what He commands. Yet, God’s love has NEVER failed. His mercy continues to endure. His favour and grace so evident. Oh but Jesus, Jesus, Jesus 😭😭❤

I am so undeserving, and yet, You Lord call me Beloved. You have gathered me, washed me, covered me, comforted me and wiped every tear I shed during those moments I was breaking in ways I can’t even articulate. This you did because you love me. This you continue to do because your love is never ending.

No… I will never comprehend this kind of love. It defies my human logic! I’m just grateful for it and all I can do is praise and worship You!

Father thank you for the gift of life and love. To be loved by You is enough. My Creator, my Covering, my balm of Gilead, my King, my Redeemer, my Salvation, my EVERYTHING ❤❤❤

Glory, honor and praise to You ALWAYS.🌸