So I didn’t quite grow up with my parents as a child. Both my parents were pretty young and just starting out their careers. For reasons that no longer matter I was raised by different people. This means I moved around a LOT. While it takes a village to raise a child, I can tell you that not everyone in that village likes raising other people’s kids.

The consequences of that moving around created a sense of abandonment and building of walls in me. I grew up believing that I was literally the only person I could trust with having my own back. I had trust issues including trusting God.

Now that I’m a grown woman I realise that I carried that baggage. While I’ve always been fully functional cognitively, I struggled emotionally. Then Ps Vera Sithole taught me that “what is not revealed, can’t be redeemed”.

At first I thought she meant I must go around sharing my issues. In my brain I was like “no thanks”. I was wrong. Only Christ can redeem me. So I started opening up to Him. Slowly He started to heal me and still continues to do so. You see, even though God knew everything in my heart, He needed me to speak it out to Him.

Let us not carry what is meant only for Him to carry. Let us allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to trust Him with our issues. People may not get you, He does.

In every human lies a desire to be understood. Stop going to people for this. Go to Jesus and He will connect you with people who will ride or die with you as you heal.

Life is tricky. Jesus is not.

Everything you are going through will eventually work out for your good. That’s what God said, I believe Him. REVEAL to Jesus so He can REDEEM. Tell Him EVERYTHING.. How it’s unfair. How it hurts. How you are angry and anguished. Like E👏ve👏ry👏thing👏

No one but Jesus has the answers and the healing you seek. He is our Saviour. Our salvation. Our Redeemer.

Stay blessed always 🌸

Eph 4:7 Each one, to their own…

“And the winner is…” The phrase that indirectly led to some unhealthy competitive behaviors in humanity. Sadly until now I also believed that to be “top” of my game I had to measure up to what the world defines as being a great human.

Ephesians 4:7 confirmed what I had felt for a long time. I have never been great at conforming. Those closest to me know that I am far from “typical Christian African female”. Satan tried to use that to his advantage by planting seeds which I sadly nurtured. You see, Lucy 😈 is incapable of creation so he latches onto what God created and perverts it.

An example, God gifted me with courage, compassion, intelligence and vitality. Those are my gifts “given according to the measure of Christ’s gift”. Satan knows this so he perverts the courage into doing daring wild things, the compassion into being foolish, the intelligence into pride and the vitality into workaholic tendencies. This is NOT what God had in mind when He gave me those gifts.

Remember, His gifts are irrevocable so I had to go back to Him to show me what I’m supposed to do with these gifts. He has been doing that daily❤ Its hard work because I have to unlearn everything Lucy 😈 taught me.

You can’t compare your gifts to someone. They are as unique as your fingerprints. For those of you trying to be on top of your game, may I suggest you go to the One who created the game (your life), created the player (You), and created the rules and tools (your gifts and how to use them).

Remember you were created for His glory, anything outside of that is just Lucy 😈 using your gifts for his kingdom. Trust me, I know 🙂

May you forever be a fruitful member of the Body of Christ as He guides you on maximizing the gifts He gave to you🌸

Be and stay blessed always!

Eph 2:1-8 Then and Now

There was once a vibe on social media about some 10-year challenge where people compared their looks then and now. My curiosity was not so much how I looked then, but what the state of my heart was then compared to now.

I often wonder, does God approve of this version of me? Have I improved, stayed the same or gotten worse?

From verse 1-3 I know that was definitely me once. So deeply entrenched in the drama of this world, caring too much what people thought, engaging in self-destructive thoughts and behaviours, doubting my gifts and callings, treating my Creator like a part-time Sunday weekend job. I was basically the chief griever of the Holy Spirit.

That was then.. before Love, His Love, finally broke through ALL of that and more. God broke, crushed and re-molded me to what He had in mind when He formed me in my mother’s womb. Lucy 😈 and I had to break-up and till today he hounds me for that.

Now I’m living in the moments of verse 4-8. I started to appreciate the gift of Salvation. I opened myself to His Love. I learned to navigate life through a different lens, His lens. I surrendered, allowing myself to be vulnerable with Him.

No, my life did not instantly become easier, I actually now engage in these crazy and petty fights with Lucy😈. Like the dude is really mad that I left😄

The difference now is I have this peace because over and over God has been faithful. Each day is truly a gift from Him and believe me, He picks up ALL of my calls to Him. Oh but Jesus❤

So yeah, I’m not the same. I couldn’t be. Im now fully aware of His Love for me, but most importantly I have received it and choose to dwell in it daily. Some days I trip and fall hard but His Love cushions me and I am able to get up and continue running my race. The race is not for the swift but for those who truly have the ability to commit, endure and finish the race.

I WILL die empty having poured out EVERYTHING He placed inside of me. That is the way of a Jesus Ninja 💯

Be and stay blessed always 🌸

Skip, hop and jump!! Isaiah 54:17

That moment when the door opens and you walk through. When He literally shows you how each tear you cried was not in vain. When He shows you His faithfulness! Oh but Jesus❤❤

You see, the weapons WILL be formed. They WILL be thrown at you. They WILL sometimes hit you, BUT they just don’t prosper. So it’s like shooting someone with the intention to kill but they end up with a flesh wound.

I mean Jesus was honest when He said in this world we will face tribulations then He goes on to say we should chill cos He is done with all of that (my version🙂). So if we are in Christ then we also overcome through Him.

My beloved mother called me today to encourage me. Her names are Tintswalo Grace (same meaning in different languages), and oh Lord she is every bit my double portion of Grace. Her words are always “God is still on the throne”.

I felt a skip, a hop and a jump in my spirit after talking to her🙌🙌 I realised that whatever was formed against me didn’t prosper😎

Look, if you can still praise Him, worship Him and talk to Him then those weapons were literally a waste of Lucy’s 😈 time!

Praise Him now because you know He is faithful.

Praise Him now because He has NEVER failed you.

Praise Him now cos if you don’t the rocks will do it anyway.

Don’t wait until you see the evidence. Not sure about you, but I refuse to have a rock do what I can do😏

Father thank you for the gift of love, life and salvation ❤

Philippians 3:8 Broken Pt 2

And so, as I started to rise from the brokenness, I looked down and saw things that I was carrying that could only have been revealed to me through breaking.

I was grieved cos I saw old wounds that had become cancerous and were manifesting in behaviours that created a continuous distance from my Creator. I had spent my life feeding my soul with rubbish.

My mind was messed up, my heart was in darkness and I was existing but not living. God can’t pour into a place that’s already full. The breaking was Him emptying His vessel.

Oh praise God!! Jesus. Jesus. Jesus ❤❤

I now count all those things I believed to be important as dung like Paul said so I could gain Christ. God has started to remodel me into what He had in mind when He formed me in my mother’s womb. All old things have truly passed away and now He is doing a new thing.

A God who pursued me to the pits of hell and back, who loved me even after I had played the harlot with my soul. This kind of love will never make sense to me – EVER! But now instead of questioning it, I’m opening myself up to receiving it. Satan will keep you from receiving God’s love by condemning you and making you feel unworthy of His love. There is no condemnation in Christ – NONE.

As a child runs to their parent after a messy number 2, run to Him with all your number 2s! Nothing is too messy, stinky or disgusting for Him. He is your Father, our Father who art in Heaven ❤

Your issues are safe with Him. He is the ONLY confidant I know who has never been shocked or confused by my behavior. He allowed the brokenness so I could move closer to Him. It was through the breaking that my breakthrough came❤

It’s a journey. It’s a relationship. It’s a process. Open your heart and invite Jesus in. Its the best invitation you will ever make in your life.

Be and stay blessed always 🌸