As the year approaches an end I’ve started taking stock of how and where I spent my greatest resource – TIME.
Time is the one thing that makes us equal. We all get the same amount. Since owning my Jesus Ninja title, I literally experienced Hell’s operations in ways I can’t even describe. Like Satan really went ALL out to Kill, Steal and Destroy everything attached to me. He used things, people and situations. He played mind games that pushed me to my limits. There were times I was just like “Lord I’m done, I can’t and won’t do this anymore”.
I didn’t know a person could experience that level of pain and still be alive. I questioned the whole Salvation deal, in my anger I told God “no wonder Jonah ran away and everyone you use gives up at some point. Your ways are just too much!”. I was hurt, angry and really felt this Christian thing was not working for me anymore.
I now look back and can see how He was working for my good all this time. How, in my state of pain, He used me to be a blessing to others. How He covered me from destructive thoughts. How He gave me the grace to accomplish things that were deemed impossible, especially with the completion of my Psychology Masters degree. How He covered me from feeling overwhelmed by Satan’s attacks through preserving my soul. That is the ONE thing Satan couldn’t touch🙌
How he connected me with people who would pray with and for me. How He taught me the power of praising Him in ALL situations. Most importantly how He loved me during those hectic moments when I was literally all alone with no one to share my pain with. He gently took whatever I was clutching in my broken heart and replaced it with a soothing balm that no person could ever have offered.
He has been my confidant, my comforter, my counselor, my rock, my shield, my provider, my peace.
Father thank you for the gift of life. I may not have everything I have asked from you YET, but I have YOU. May your word forever be a lamp unto my feet as I navigate life in this weird and crazy planet!