So I’ve always wondered why Job said “thou He slay me, yet shall I trust in Him”. I was very confused about continuing to trust God when all I seem to be experiencing is pain and suffering. Recently it just felt like God forgot about what He promised me or simply didn’t care.
I am human and while my thoughts were wrong, they were real. I was so broken by this seed that I knew He planted but was not shooting out of the ground. This one afternoon I was having an anxiety attack. Everything was just closing in. “God forgot Elaine”, my long time enemy kept repeating. In that moment I was so close to agreeing with the devil and his employees.
BUT, I remembered a song called “uthando luka Baba”, simply translated as “the love of the Father”. Something about the lyrics of that song calms every storm in my mind, soul, heart and spirit. All I need is to hear someone sing it. The last time I experienced something similar I called my friend Sandra and asked her to sing it. This time I called Ps Veronica but she was busy so I called her daughter Ntando and the girl sang those healing words.
I remembered. I cried. I healed in that very moment.
You see, love is the foundation of our salvation. “For God so loved the world…” As I write this, the storm continues to rage, life is still weird BUT I’m not falling apart. Love does that. Not only does it cover my multitude of sins, it covers ME.
In this world there are sooooo many rubbish situations BUT God’s love is bigger. I had an option to run elsewhere with my pain, I chose Him. Why? Because over and over God chose me. He loved me at moments when I didn’t love myself and when no one shows up – He does – ALWAYS.
I could never understand or repay this kind of love. What I can do is accept it and live it. No broken heart, delayed dream, confusion and anxiety can separate me from the love of God.
Even though I feel like I’m limping through life right now, Father I choose YOU. It is the sacrifice of my praise because only YOU can love me in every way, everyday, all day! I am created in YOUR image and NEVER have you forsaken the works of YOUR hands – ME!
Let all the people say AMEN!