I dont actually remember the exact time I decided I was ready to share my heart. I think it was a gradual process. What I do remember is that I refused to be in a relationship until I knew my worth and what my contribution would be. There is so much power in that. If you believe you are valuable then you easily terminate ANYTHING that speaks or acts against that.
My perception of love had changed. I now knew that until I could accept love from my Creator and until I could love myself then no other human stood a chance. I unlearned all the rubbish I believed love to be so I could learn new things. I was in overflow of finally accepting that God loved me and NOTHING could change that.
I just remember having this longing to partner with someone who was interested in figuring out this life thing. Someone who was open to change and had the courage to ride or die in love. Naturally, I prayed about it but also had to intentionally open my heart. It was daunting at first but I stopped being so technical about it and trusted that “no psycho formed against me would prosper”. And meet them psychos I did, but none prospered!
My journey taught me resilience. After sniffing psycho tendencies, I would just allow my heart to be sad long enough to acknowledge that there are somethings I just have no control over. I learned that just because you have this awesome intention to love someone, they can still choose to be psycho. I found such great power in walking away with no shame, anger or grief!
I believe love has various frequencies and so I trusted that I would meet that man who would respond in tune to my frequency. A man whose frequency would not only complement mine, but I his also. A man who would bring out the best in my character but also face the worst of me with courage and love. A man who looked at my scars and admired my strength to survive. A man who saw the prints of my Creator all over me and just wanted to serve and praise Him!
And at the appointed time, such a man came along.. Will it last? I don’t know. What I do know is I’m in love, I am loved and Love dwells within me. Whether this man stays or leaves I will still dwell in Love. Why? Because NOTHING can separate me from the Love of God!
I pray that after your divorce, you find your healing and learn to love again. Be blessed always!