Relationships: The Shame

I would be dishonest if I didn’t share the not so pleasant stuff experienced right after the divorce. But first let’s take a step back..

I had one of those “mooi van ver” marriages. From far we were so in love but for those who decided to take a closer look the cracks were bigger than the Vic Falls gorge! I cannot speak ill of the departed, but on my side I knew it was a mistake within a year. Before you judge, understand this – when we fall in love, it’s based on who we are and about at the time. The same applies for the other person. People evolve, or in my case, people reveal who they have always been. Love truly covers a multitude of sins, you know he has Darth Vader in him but you somehow brush it off.

So when I divorced him, shame was my BFF. She just hung around for a while telling me I was a failure – as if making a marriage work was all my responsibility. I was never too concerned about the gossip but the judgement, mostly from women, killed my soul.

Oh how easy it is to sit high and mightily on our “Holy Ghost Assistant” chairs and judge on matters we know nothing about! So a year after my divorce I broke the friendship with Shame. As a Christian, a verse from Isaiah 54 reminded me that God is not about shaming me. I also remembered a scripture by apostle Paul that “there is therefore now no condemnation in Christ”. Yes my religious people, I know God said He hates divorce – but HE LOVES ME.

Shame is dangerous. It condemns. You cannot progress until you kick it out of your life. There are no perfect people therefore there can’t be ANY perfect situations.

Deal with that shame!

Published by Elaine Mofokeng

I was born to love, learn and serve. I am a Jesus Ninja.

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